After Sex

So you've just had sex, it was wonderful, you feel connected to your mate. Then he rolls over and goes to sleep. Does that sound familiar? Odds are it's happened to you at least once. And hey it happens to women to, where they just roll over and go to sleep.

This happens because one of the partners is very tired while the other is more energized. Honestly if someone falls asleep afterwards I wouldn't take it as an insult. You probably wore them out and they enjoyed themselves. Sometimes though when this happens it brews feelings of resentment.

We like to feel that personal connection. We want to know that it ment more then just sex to our partner. Which is why cuddling or after play is so important to them. No one wants to feel used.

What is After Play?

But after play doesn't have to be about our feelings, it's really just about feeling connected to the person we love. There are all kinds of things that can open this connection and it doesn't have to be about our feelings exclusively.

We can:

• Cuddle.
• Kiss.
• Talk about our day.
• Talk about our kids, after all they are a product of that love.
• Give a massage, my fav!
• Take a soothing bath together.
• Shower together.
• Read a smutty novel to eachother.
• Read the newspaper and talk about current events.
• Plan a fun event, a night out or a holiday.
• Exercise together.

There are lots of things we can do with our spouse to spend more quality time with them and get the connection we need after sex.

How Do You Get After Play?

Some men know about a womans needs and they just do this, but some men don't, usually because they don't understand it. To them the sex was intimate, what more do you want? But us ladies want to take it a step further.

Suppose you don't feel comfortable voicing your need to your partner. Although if you're with this person I hope you feel comfortable enough to do so. Or maybe you've told him and he just didn't quite get it. Now what?

There are easy, subtle things you can do to encourage this behavior.

• Engage him in conversation.
• Snuggle up to him by having your head on his chest and his arm around you.
• Sit on top of him, so he has a nice view and you can have some face to face time.
• Have sex in the morning or afternoon, he might be less tired.
• Have a dessert already prepared, that way he has to enjoy it with you and he probably won't fall asleep face first in it.

I would avoid talking about the intimacy and the sex, a lot of men just don't express their feelings like that. If he's ok with it then go right ahead. But a lot of guys might tune out and stop paying attention. I'm not saying that behavior is ok, but we can't change men so you have to work with what you have. There is a time and place to talk about the intimacy and it usually isn't after sex. Although that would be prime time for women to talk about it.

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