The Red Flags of Dating

There are things you should watch for when you are dating. We call them red flags. These are indicators that your relationship is coming to an end or that you should be ending the relationship.

There are a lot of reasons why we don't keep certain people in our lives. But why when we are mistreated do we keep that "special" someone in our lives when we should be running the other way? There are early warning signs that this behavior will continue and probably get worse.

So save yourself the time, heartache and emotions and learn to identify these red flags so you can get out of a relationship before it gets ugly.

The Warning Signs

1. He Doesn't Call You His Girlfriend

How a guy introduces you is really important. If he introduces you as, "This is my girlfriend ______." This is good, he is announcing to the world that this is his woman, so hands off.

If he introduces you as "This is _______." Not good, he doesn't want people to know he's "with" you, or he doesn't feel serious enough about the relationship to make that claim.

2. He Spends More Time With His Friends

I'm not talking about the odd night out. I'm talking about you maybe see him once a week or less. Or you have plans and suddenly his friends want him to do something so he cancels with you.

He is showing you that you are not a priority to him. A woman can never come between a guy and his friends, or at least shouldn't. But he should be spending time with you.

It's possible he isn't really with his friends at all, he might have another relationship going and you are the side item.

3. It's 3-6 Months In And You Haven't Met His Family Or Friends

If you haven't met his family yet, you just are not the woman for him. He will only introduce you to his family if he is serious about the relationship. Right now you are a time filler until the right girl comes along.

4. He Doesn't Want A Committed Relationship

This isn't something you should expect right away. But after a month or two you should have decided between the two of you if you are going to see each other exclusively or not. If he doesn't want a committed relationship with you, then he doesn't view this as serious and you are not the "one". He is keeping his options open, and you should take the option to get out of the relationship, find someone who is serious about you.

5. You've Been Dating A While But You've Never Seen His Place

This can go 2 ways. Either he is embarrassed about his place or the cleanliness of it. Or he has something at home he doesn't want you to know about...like maybe a wife or a girlfriend?

If you haven't seen his place, ask him about it. If he insists he's just embarrassed say you don't care, you are not with him for what he has or doesn't have. If he still won't budge, you can assume there's something going on.

6. He Puts You Down

If anyone is making you feel bad about yourself they are not worth staying with. If he is calling you names, or insulting you, this is not ok, don't let him put you down. He is starting an abusive relationship and trying to wreck your self esteem so you stay with him. Some men want a woman at their beck and call and don't mind making them feel like shit. Just leave before this gets worse.

7. He Doesn't Have Time For You

Sometimes guys say they are too busy with work/school. This could be the case, but if it's always happening and he is consistently to busy, then he is too busy for the relationship but doesn't mind stringing you along. Go find someone who has time for you.

8. He Doesn't Support Your Decisions Or Goals

If a guy laughs at you for something you want or hope for. Leave him. He doesn't support you and he never will. This is the start of a bad relationship. Even if he doesn't understand your decision or like it, if he really cares for you he will support you 100%.

9. He Doesn't Call

If you have plans and he doesn't call to let you know he's going to be late or can't come, this is not good. Does he respect you enough to even pick up the phone? Does he value your time? If it happens one time, let it go but if he keeps neglecting you, act on it, have a talk with him.

The other side of the phone calls is when you always have to initiate communication or dates. If you always have to be the one to call or always the one to ask for the date, he may not be into you. If he was into you, he'd be eager to call you just to chat.

10. He Has High Expectations

It's ok to expect certain things in a relationship. But there are also negative expectations one can have. If for example he expects you to pay for a fun night out all the time, or all the meals out or drinks, etc. That's not ok. You are just a free ride for him.

He could expect physical things, if he expects oral or anal sex and you don't like it, it's not ok. Say no and walk away from him, he isn't worth it. If he can't respect your personal boundaries he doesn't care about you.

11. He Is Always Starting Fights

This is always a good indicator that the relationship is coming to an end or that you should just get out of the relationship. I believe that if you are fighting about things (unless life altering) before 6 months, it's probably not a relationship worth while. Why fight for a relationship? It should be naturally wonderful. It's ok to have disagreements and make compromises, but if you are getting into all out screaming matches or he makes you feel bad for no real reason, why be with him?

If he is picking fights or trying to escalate disagreements to fights over stupid little things, he's looking for a way out or wants you to dump him so he doesn't have to feel bad.

12. He's Getting Physical

If he has started pushing you around, or getting rough with you, this is not ok. Just be aware that this can get worse. Put your foot down and tell him never to do that again. If he doesn't listen, leave!

13. He Wants Sex And You Don't

If he is pushing for sex before you want it, you better believe that's all he wants from you. And once he has it, he's gone. Don't believe "If I don't have sex with him I will lose him". If that is what it takes to keep a guy, which it won't, even if you are Jenna Jameson, he isn't worth it.

Don't do something you aren't comfortable with or aren't ready for. Why give it to that creep? Wait for a guy who respects your wishes and understands the value of waiting.

There are different rules of thumb on how long to wait. It will ultimately be up to you. Some guys say 3 months and some guys say 7 dates. But do what you are comfortable with and do not do it sooner than you want to for his sake. He will NOT appreciate you for it.

14. He Drinks/Smokes, Etc. A Lot

If he drinks or does drugs a lot and it's becoming a problem, you may have an addict on your hands. You have to seriously ask yourself, do you want to put up with this and the repercussions long term? I doubt it. Talk to him or end it.

** More To Come **

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