How to Catch Him Cheating

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Read an exert from my up coming book and learn about the warning signs of a cheating spouse.

There are certain clues that you can watch out for. I was in a relationship where my guy was addicted to porn, but I didn't know this. For YEARS! It became more than an addiction, before we started dating, it wasn't about watching the porn anymore, it was about living out the porn fantasy. He wanted to have phone sex and web cam with women every night, while I was sleeping. He would watch porn all the time when I wasn't around (easy to do when the first 2 years of your relationship are long distance).



Soon the phone sex and cam sex was not enough (although he did not give this up). He decided to start having sex with women he met off Adult Friend Finder. These are women he didn't know and they didn't know him. These were purely booty calls for both sides. He would act out these fantasies, having sex with these women in his office, our bed, our living room, and so on. He would take pictures of this (I found them, that's how I know). He even started other relationships with women, frequently lying about everything in his life. Soon I was not his finance but his roommate. Yeah imagine how I felt when I finally put all the pieces together.

Did these women know about the fact that he was in a relationship? I don't know. I don't think they all knew, but the ones who were having sex on our bed, in our bedroom, where my perfume and jewelry was out in the open, definitely knew. Did they give a damn? Obviously not.

So at least you can learn from my experience, looking back there are things that should have made me realize what was going on, but of course I wanted to believe the best, I didn't think another human being could do something so awful to a person. I had suspicions for a year, before I actually found real evidence, all the time he would deny it, right to my face. I hope you will be able to avoid the same fate and put an end to an unhealthy relationship before it hurts you to your core.

Be careful about checking for certain things, you don't want to destroy your relationship if there really isn't a problem going on, men are hurt when they are accused of this. So if you blame him, he will figure he probably should have done it, cause he's getting in shit anyways. So think very carefully before you go out and invade his privacy. These are things I periodically did (or should have done) in my search for the truth, but this is all up to your discretion, on one hand I don't recommend it, on the other I know that painful need for the truth and the extent a person will go to to get it. I can't believe I'm even going to tell you these things, they are so awful, but I would rather know, then not know.

Things to check:

Does he have a web cam? This does not automatically make him guilty, but it's just something to keep an eye on, maybe he made a short video...

Internet Chatting History I hate IM and chatting, just because this was something he did so much of, and one of the major reasons I caught him. There is often a history of chatting saved in the computer. It may be hard to find and require some digging. Start with going to "My Computer", look in the shared documents and that persons documents. If you see a file that has the name of a chatting program, like MSN, open it. If you want to open every file, go for it, it's hard to tell how buried it might be. And remember he may have even erased the files if he knows what he's doing. Some times the files will allow you to open them and see the conversation in your browser, sometimes not and you would have to shift through all the html code. Not recommended unless you know what you are looking at.

Received Files Did you know there is often a received files folder, or downloads folder. If he has received anything off emails or chats and downloaded it, it may have found it's way in there. Like pictures or videos. Look in the "My Computer" section and then through the Local Disk, then in Documents and Settings...but remember those files could be in many places, so you may have to browse around. Don't delete anything if you do not know what it is.

Multiple Screen Names or on line names, or aliases. This is always odd, unless it's a personal email and work email, but to have many personal emails or accounts, is very very strange.

Videos on the computer Is there an excessive amount of porn on there?

The Condoms is your supply of condoms disappearing? And you aren't the one getting the benefit from them?

Your Sex Life How is your sex life? Is it non existent? Is he always tired or stressed, even after you put on that super sexy lingerie? There might be an issue, he just might be getting it from some where else.

His Cell Phone Take a look for recurring numbers that you don't know. Take a look through his text messages, phones can hold a lot of texts now a days.



His Schedule Does he have a schedule book, are there simple things like initials or one word written down?

His Underwear This is a little gross, but if he has cum stains on the inside of his undies, then he was probably in a hurry to finish what it was he was doing and put it back in his pants.

His Pockets Maybe you do the laundry, take a look through the pockets, you never know what he forgot.

The Bed Does it look like someone was frolicking in your bed? Men don't always clean up after themselves.

Smells How does he smell, how does his clothes smell? Smell anything girlie? Something that isn't your scent? It's not like it gets on his clothes by walking through a perfume store, he had to rub up against it.

His Lips Are his lips really red when he came home? Did you know the lips become redder and more plump when they are being used? When you kiss, blood is drawn to the lips which makes them much redder, talking or chewing does not have the same effect.

His Schedule Is he working late, a lot? It could be an office romance, or he's waiting for the office to clear out so he can start a romance at the office.

Cell Coverage Does he go places that he claims has no cell coverage? Like a farm? Or somewhere out of town? Call his cell service provider, find out if coverage does exist in that area.

His Credit Cards If you manage to get your hands on his bills, look for strange charges, like hotels, 1-900 numbers, gifts you never got, membership fees to certain websites.

Digital Cameras Look through the memory cards, god knows what you'll find.

If you know something I've missed here, email me, everyone wants to know where the truth hides. I hope for your sake that your relationship doesn't come to this, it's an awful feeling and it breeds paranoia. Be careful, and be prepared, you might not like the answer you get. Best of Luck.

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