Why Don't I have Sensations During Sex?

I am 21 years old female and I am in serious need of help!!! I don't feel like having sex, I have no sensations, and have never experienced an orgasm or anything close to one!

I sometimes have pain during sex but my Doctor said it's normal that my ovaries are swollen! I mean how am i supposed to want to have sex when nothing happens that feels good? Plus I am really embarrassed in front of my partner he thinks it is him. I get depressed when I have sex and sometimes even cry during or after sex because of being uncomfortable and since nothing is happening to me I am embarrassed in front of my man. I am desperate for something to happen I want to feel sensations and orgasm please help!!!!

Answer

It sounds like you're in a tough situation. The first thing I recommend is you go find a different doctor. You can find some very good doctors at sexual health clinics, if there is one near you, if not, try a different doctors office. I don't believe it is normal to have swollen ovaries. It is possible you have a condition that is causing the problem, but until you find out what it is you can't fix it. This is nothing to be embarrassed about, many women have problems with their ovaries and uterus, the doctors have seen and heard it all before. Once you find out what the problem is and what is causing the problem and a way to fix it, you should be able to find a way to make sex enjoyable. Don't push yourself to have sex if you don't enjoy it right now, you need to focus on you and getting better.

You have no reason to be embarrassed in front of your partner. Sit down and talk about it with him, this is not something he can help, and if he knows you are getting help for it, he will probably be really relieved to know it isn't his fault. And once he understands what the situation is, you can take steps together to having more enjoyable sex. What I would recommend is a long warm up session, enjoy foreplay for at least a half hour, this will allow your body to prepare for sex and to get in the mood. Women often don't enjoy sex if we just jump right into it, we just aren't ready. Try making out, massages, oral sex, etc. When you feel ready then you can have sex. You should start off slow and instruct your man as to what it is that feels good in that moment, if it doesn't feel good, try something else. You may also want to avoid positions that allow for deep penetration, like doggy style. You can try woman on top, with him sitting up, or man on top. You have to experiment to find out what works for you, regardless of pain, not everything works for all women.

I really do urge you to seek different medical advice, not all doctors are created equal or care equally. Try a female doctor, they will be the most understanding and sympathetic.